About Bill

My road to becoming a therapist began with loving parents, who were also unloving spouses. My Mom and Dad’s marriage was the classic “child-centered” union, where children provide parents some distraction—whether positive or negative—from their relationship woes.

bill-bray-lpcFortunately, my brother and I provided them with mostly positive respite, enabling them to enjoy emotional closeness within our home even if not with each other. It’s funny. As a very young child, I remember wanting to help couples and families – like mine.

Renowned psychotherapist Alice Miller observes that my desire to help others is not uncommon for therapists-in-the-making. In her book, The Drama of the Gifted Child, she writes:

“In my work with people in the helping professions, I have often been confronted with a childhood history that seems significant to me….(Such children) develop a special sensitivity to…the needs of others. No wonder they often choose to become psychotherapists later on. Who else, without this previous history, would muster sufficient interest to spend the whole day trying to discover what is happening in other people’s (lives). But the development and perfecting of this sensitivity – which once assisted the child in surviving…now enables the adult to pursue his strange profession…”

So, that’s what I did. I pursued a profession—better, a vocation—where I could help individuals, couples, and families live a more peaceable and harmonious life.

The Past is Always Present

Among the tools I acquired along the way was the idea that “the past is always present.” For example, we often relate to people in the present in ways we related to people in our past. Stated differently, and a tad more clinically, “present ‘triggers’ have past causes.” This doesn’t mean to get stuck in the past; just that we cannot ignore it. Alice Miller again writes:“Most people do exactly the opposite. Without realizing that the past is constantly determining their present actions, they avoid learning anything about their history” (The Drama of the Gifted Child). Even if her word “determine” is a bit strong, our past strongly “influences” the present.

Sometimes these past causes represent what we call “trauma,” which involves another important idea: trauma can be spelled big “T” Trauma, or little “t” trauma. In other words, trauma is not limited to life-threatening situations (war, crime, accidents, disasters), but can be any one, or anything, that continues to exert a negative influence over us (insecure or abusive relationships, shaming social experiences, and the like). Looking back on our lives, we often realize that such experiences—or people—were indeed “traumatic,” considering the ways they keep recurring in our present-day thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

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The good news?

Life can improve! You and I can experience positive change, and counseling or psychotherapy can help. The words of Columbia University psychiatrist and researcher Norman Doidge are certainly apropos:

“There is no longer any doubt…that psychotherapy can result in detectable changes in the brain. Recent brain scans done before and after psychotherapy show both that the brain (flexibly) reorganizes itself in treatment and that the more successful the treatment the greater the change” (The Brain that Changes Itself).

I believe in this potential for positive change. I also believe that my lifelong journey towards helping people has equipped me to facilitate “therapeia” (healing) in three important ways: intrapersonally, interpersonally, and transpersonally. I encourage you to consult the clinical emphases and specialties in this website, or better yet, to contact me personally to make the determination for positive change – for yourself.

 

Education

D.Min. – Doctorate in Applied (Practical) Theology, with emphasis in Marriage & Family;

Phillips University Graduate Seminary (now, Phillips Theological Seminary), 1985. (Program included approved studies in Family Relations/Child Development, Oklahoma State University)

M.A. – Masters in Counseling Psychology; University of Colorado, 1990

Professional Credentials

Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC). (State of Colorado #: 5267)

EMDRIA Certified EMDR Therapist

EMDR Levels I and II trained

Training in Brainspotting (BSP) and Somatic Experiencing (SE)

Levels 1 & 2 Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy

Certified PREPARE-ENRICH (Couples) Counselor